♤
Alice’s Anthem: “Mad As a Hatter”
(Oh, you thought you knew me, didn’t you? Heh, well, let’s see how well you really know your stories...)
Verse 1
I’m mad as a hatter, a queen in disguise,
Spinning my tales with fire in my eyes.
Through the looking glass, I dance and I sway,
No rules, no limits -just come what may.
Chorus
I’m not your fairy tale, no pretty princess dream,
I’ll break your heart and steal your tea, or so it seems.
Twisted and wicked, I wear my crown,
In my world, darling, you never come down!
Verse 2
Red Riding Hood? She’s leading the fight,
Rapunzel’s a queen, and she owns the night.
In my garden of roses, where chaos blooms,
We laugh and we dance in enchanted rooms.
Chorus
I’m not your fairy tale, no soft lullaby,
Come step in my world, and I’ll show you why.
Twisted and wicked, I wear my crown,
In my world, darling, you never come down!
Bridge
(Oh, my dear, there’s no going back. This story? It’s mine now. You’re just a guest in my madness.)
I’m Queen of the Roses, and they bow to me,
Take my hand, darling, and you’ll soon see...
What happens when the story gets turned upside down,
In my realm of roses, I’m the one who wears the crown.
Chorus
I’m not your fairy tale, no, I’m far from sweet,
But step into my world - you’re in for a treat.
Twisted and wicked, I wear my crown,
In my world, darling, you never come down!
Outro
(And remember… We’re all mad here.)
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Alice, Queen of Ink & Lore
Mad As a Hatter Original Song Lyrics
✒ Pip's Editorial Note
From Alice's Mad Tea Party
I have received several letters asking whether Alice actually composed an anthem for herself.
Regrettably...
Yes.
She did.
She insists it is "an artistic expression of narrative identity."
The rest of us call it "Tuesday."
For the record, Alice is not, in fact, a reigning monarch of anything recognized by historians, geographers, or reasonably functioning governments.
She is, however, the undisputed Queen of entering a room as though trumpets have announced her arrival.
The claim that she steals tea remains under investigation.
She maintains she merely "borrows it for dramatic effect."
The kitchen staff disagrees.
As for the roses...
Do not encourage her.
She already has enough.
No one needs that many rose bushes.
She claims they are "essential to the atmosphere."
The interns claim they have forgotten what the studio walls look like.
I decline to comment.
Finally, before anyone asks...
Yes.
She sings this.
Loudly.
Usually while arranging flowers or rewriting perfectly respectable folklore because it "needed more sparkle."
Human Resources has stopped filing complaints.
They simply wear earplugs now.
I would like the record to show that I had absolutely nothing to do with this production.
...
She is making me proofread the sheet music next.
P.S. I quit.
...Unfortunately, resigning does not exempt me from editing Alice's musical career.
— Pip, Editorial Desk ☕📚
